It’s 11 p.m. and I decided to write this first blog post. I’ve been postponing getting this section of the website going. I’m very busy with my two YouTube channels and the personal readings as it is, but I cannot put this on hold anymore. So, why do I do what I do? Here we go…
Believe it or not, a long time ago I was a journalist covering politics in Washington D.C., and community news in various cities. My niche however, was covering natural and man-made disasters. My editors called on me to cover the aftermath of several hurricanes, including Hurricane Katrina. I also flew to Haiti for the earthquake there in 2010. It was an exciting life and I enjoyed it very much. I met many important people during my career and amazing folks working hard to make this world a better place.
In my personal life, things weren’t so great though. I made many mistakes with partners, and in turn, many partners made mistakes with me. When things weren’t fine in my love life, I used work as a form of escape and it really worked at getting me to not dwell on the situations too much. That was an easy fix, but not a long term one. I kept failing at building healthy relationships, and later in life: failing at even knowing how to meet people properly.
The Twin Flame
After a painful separation of a relationship that had lasted four years, I went into a deep depression. I had to start seeing a therapist to help me understand and calm my emotions. It was the first time I had actually met a therapist who understood me and taught me the coping skills I needed to regain my sanity. During those 6 months, I began a WordPress blog as a therapeutic form of writing what was happening to me. I really enjoyed it – and that’s how I met my twin flame.
One afternoon, I received an email from this person letting me know that they enjoyed my blog posts. We began to email daily, multiple times, and talk on the phone. This person lived in another state, miles away from me, but it didn’t seem to matter – I was so happy to feel like I had found love again. Unfortunately, this person revealed, a little too late, that they had a partner – it broke my heart. The connection was too strong however, and I couldn’t easily let go of this person.
A twin flame relationship is quite painful. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. The chaser and runner dynamic can leave one very traumatized, but that’s the whole point. This type of “situationship” eventually leads to a spiritual awakening – a total surrender of oneself to a High Power, The Universe, God…
The situationship was on and off for close to four years, there was even a whole year when we didn’t communicate at all. We got to only meet in person twice, and by the time the 4th year of this friendship came around, I was ready to let this person go for good. I had finally ran out of tears and my heart was ready to begin the healing process.
During those four painful years, I went from being human mush, to becoming something close to a super hero. All that pain had made me stronger and wiser and I understood that the Universe was actually preparing me to become something I never imagined – a tarot reader.
Tarot had been something I was interested in since my early 20s. Matter of fact it was one of my news editors that introduced me to the Rider Waite tarot deck. We had been hanging out after work and I was over at her house for drinks and to talk about my shitty love life. That’s when she brought out the deck, it was wrapped in a beautiful red, silk cloth, and handled the cards so delicately. I was blown away from the experience. Consequently, we both went to the Psychic Eye in Sherman Oaks in Los Angeles to get readings from the tarot readers there – all well-known in their communities. Ellen Degeneres actually visited it at some point shortly after she began her talk show. It’s a great segment if you can find it on Google.
Many years passed when I only used my tarot deck in times of crises. I wasn’t really sure what I was doing, but it always brought me relief. I read the tarot for friends and they swore I was really good – I thought they didn’t know any better. But the tarot became central during the time I was dealing with my twin flame, and I found myself consulting the cards more and more. I realized that I had been drawn to astrology since childhood. I even remember when my mother told me that I was a Leo, I was probably 6 or 7. That memory stayed with me – “I’m a Leo!” I remember saying to myself over and over again – “I’m a Leo! Yay!”
In junior high school I frequented the school library everyday to check my horoscope on the local newspaper. It was a ritual which eventually led me to roam the book shelves of other libraries that offered more books on many subjects. In the 12th grade, I found a copy of the Road Less Travelled, by Scott Peck. Sometimes I feel that the book actually found me because it was exactly what I needed. The book introduced me to basic concepts of personal and spiritual growth. It was an eye-opener. Today, it’s still my favorite book to give away as a gift.
Over the course of my life I read many other books that changed me – molded me. One of them was Herman Hesse’ Siddhartha. I read it after I finished college, I had heard about it before, but my Christian upbringing had kept from exploring Eastern religious concepts. I decided that I was going to read it and I’m so glad I did – I finally understood what the big fuzz about Buddha was about. He was actually a real person! All that time I thought it was a fairy tale. I was so inspired by the story, and this new found interest in Eastern religion and spirituality, added another strong layer to a new foundation of beliefs that would eventually help me and help others. This was also the book that introduced me to the practice of meditation which has become imperative in my life.
It was during my twin flame experience that I found astrologers on YouTube. I was fascinated and began to watch them religiously – the early ones were the Leo King, Lada Duncheva, and Kelley Rosano. From there, I was led to tarot reader channels – the first one I enjoyed watching was Sasha Bonasin, then the list grew to many more, including Queen of Cups Tarot – the woman who inspired me to become a YouTube reader. I learned so much from her – I think many tarot YouTubers today may have had been strongly influenced by her readings and wealth of wisdom and knowledge. I still watch her of course, and also have new favorites, including Alexandra Vivite Somnia, Enchanted Tarot, Water & Fire Tarot, Ace of Pentacles, Gypsy Insights by Michelle, lemurian chick, Cosmic Quest Tarot, Crowned with Glory Reborn, Truth Tarot, etc. It’s a long list! I feel like they really understand me.
As for my two channels, they’ve been growing over the past 2 years – sometimes fast, sometimes slow – the YouTube algorithm can be a very complicated thing. Still, I’m very happy to be here today, with my videos and this website. I’ve helped hundreds of people through private readings and it’s been extremely rewarding and quite important in my own journey. Who knew that my shitty love life would eventually lead me to help others? I guess I was in the “Universe’s University of Love Tarot” and didn’t even know it. It all makes sense now. So much sense.
Have a great day!